Learning to Fall
by my crooked heart
Summary: After the Potters' death and Voldemort's demise, Snape digs out Lily and James's wedding announcement. Better than it sounds, please R&R, T to be safe! Songfic to Boys Like Girls's "Learning to Fall".


**Learning To Fall**

_Summary: __After James and Lily's death and Voldemort's defeat, Snape digs out the Potters' old wedding announcement and mourns his lost love._

_Disclaimer: all characters, locations etc. belong to J.K. Rowling. "Learning to Fall" belongs to Boys Like Girls._

* * *

><p><em>Today is the day<em>_  
><em>_The worst day of my life__  
><em>_You're so content it hurts me__  
><em>_I don't know why__  
><em>_The cost of misery__  
><em>_Is at an all time high__  
><em>_I keep it hidden__  
><em>_Close to the surface in sight_

He stared at the picture in the old copy of the _Daily Prophet,_ running his finger along the moving portrait of the girl and her husband. The picture was in black and white, but he knew that the girl's hair was a startling, flaming shade of red, and her eyes were as green as gemstones. He knew that her skin was as white as a lily petal, just like the flower for which she was named. He listened to the silence of his home in Spinner's End and imagined the laughter and congratulations that had filled her ears on the day this picture was taken.

_I'm learning to fall__  
><em>_I can't hardly breathe__  
><em>_When I'm going down don't worry about me__  
><em>_Don't try this at home__  
><em>_You said you don't see__  
><em>_I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me_

His eyes strayed to the man beside her, looking as cocky and arrogant as always with his messy black hair and his glasses sliding down his nose. Unknowingly, he clenched his fists, hating how the messy haired man had his arm strung possessively around her waist. His breath caught.

_Could you be with him?__  
><em>_Or was it just a lie?__  
><em>_He doesn't catch you like I do__  
><em>_And you don't know why__  
><em>_You change your clothes and your hair__  
><em>_But I can't change your mind__  
><em>_Oh, I'm uninvited__  
><em>_So unrequited now__  
><em>

He wondered what it would have been like to stand beside her, holding her hand in its white lace glove. Would her smile have been wider? She wouldn't have worn her hair up. It would have been free and flowing around her shoulders, just the way he liked it. He wondered if the picture was a lie and then hated himself for wishing that it was.

_I'm learning to fall__  
><em>_I can't hardly breathe__  
><em>_When I'm going down don't worry about me__  
><em>_Don't try this at home__  
><em>_You said you don't see__  
><em>_I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me_

He didn't want to know. If it was a mistake… then let it be a mistake, but he didn't want to hear of it. It would only intensify the pain in his heart. He was better off in the dark, not knowing about her true feelings. He would rather think that she had been happy with the ridiculous James Potter than wonder about whether she would have been happier with him.

_Words screaming in my head__  
><em>_Why did you leave?__  
><em>_And I can't stop dreaming__  
><em>_Watching you and him__  
><em>_When it should have been__  
><em>_It should have been me_

He closed his eyes but he was still unable to prevent a lone tear from escaping. It trailed down his cheek, leaving a stain on his pallid skin.

_Today is the day__  
><em>_The worst day of my life__  
><em>

"Pull yourself together," he snarled, slamming his fist on the table. His glass of Firewhiskey jolted and then toppled over, spilling steaming liquid all over the _Prophet._ He cursed and leapt to his feet, grabbing the paper to try and salvage what he could of the article. Her side of the portrait was undamaged, but his was burnt severely. It seemed like a sign, or at least a sort of weak justice.

_I'm learning to fall__  
><em>_I can't hardly breathe__  
><em>_When I'm going down don't worry about me__  
><em>_Don't try this at home__  
><em>_You said you don't see__  
><em>_I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me__  
><em>

He stared at the picture once more, memorizing every detail of her beautiful face. The hair coiled on her head. Her large, almond green eyes, huge even in the low quality photograph. Her hourglass figure, the white wedding dress hugging her curves.

_Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)__  
><em>_(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)__  
><em>_Tell me that you know, it should have been me)__  
><em>_Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)__  
><em>_I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me__  
><em>_Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)__  
><em>_(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)__  
><em>_Tell me that you know, it should have been me__  
><em>_Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)__  
><em>_I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me__._

With a slow, deliberate motion, he crushed the article, shutting his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see her picture crinkle and disappear. She was there, behind his eyelids. Burned into his memory forever. He didn't have to worry about forgetting her.

She would never let that happen.

* * *

><p><strong>Um... yeah. I'm aware that this is completely disjointed and rambly, but I was listening to that song and it just reminded me of Snape and how much he loved Lily. I could kinda see this happening, if you get me. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, please R&amp;R!<strong>


End file.
